Fear--an idea, thought, or other entity that causes feelings of anxiety or apprehension by the presence or anticipation of danger. Two years ago, I was offered a job in the UK. To tell you the truth, in the last three years I've been offered jobs in the UK, Malta, and several states. I made excuses for why I didn't take them. I blamed social climate, lack of security-net, and like many women my age a man with potential written all over him. In reality though, it was fear.
I read this:
"Fear is what blocks an artist. The fear of not being good enough. The fear of not finishing. The fear of failure and of success. The fear of beginning at all." – The Artist Way
It was an interesting synchronicity because it was an idea that came to me couple of months ago. I was preoccupied with blaming other things when in reality it was fear. I remember very distinctly thinking, I am the only one that is limiting myself. Why can't I start a new adventure? What is actually holding me back? Once adjusting my thought process I realized that 'fear of new' was crippling my progress as a human. I decided I needed to act on something new. I booked a flight to the UK. Told my boss I needed time off in October to go. His reply, "Let me know a few weeks ahead and I'll let you know if you can have it off." Then I realized my job was actually crippling my evolution.
Synchronicity- the coincidence of events that seem related, but are not obviously caused one by the other. I love that word. The comic book I illustrated launched in the UK. I needed to be there in October for the London Comic Con. In making plans for my trip, an old friend offered for me to stay with him and his wife for the two weeks. At the same time, I told him about my boss's response and said, "If he doesn't let me go, I'll quit and go anyways."
His response, "Good for you. In fact, you should work for me. I need a new assistant."
And that my friends is how I am moving to the UK. Fear is just an idea. Ideas can be reshaped into moments of courage, acts of valor, and in my case a leap into a new adventure. I might fail. I might fall. In the very least though, I will grow.
